"All hail the Ayatolla of ROCK AND ROLL-A!"
" Pay Per View buy rates, plummeting. Main stream acceptance, non-existent... and reaction of the live crowd: complete and utter silence, and I know why you're silent. You're silent because you are embarrassed to be here, and quite honestly, I'm embarrassed for you."
"You have a man who can make you jump up off your seats, raise your filthy little hands in the air, and scream: 'GO JERICHO GO. GO JERICHO GO. GO JERICHO GO.'"
"Dec 9,2001-Jericho beats The Rock and Steve Austin to become the first Undisputed Champion in modern day history. That same day, he realizes that all his so-called fans, were really liars who never really liked him anyways and he is better off without them." - From ChrisJericho.com
"Eeked? That's not even a word. You're a sportscaster. Read a thesaurus, dammit!"
"...so everybody watching, who gets down on their knees and prays 'God, please allow me to be just half as good-looking as the undisputed champion, Chris Jericho'..."
"Tazz, I can see how you might have a big head, I mean you are the star of MTV's Tough Enough. But I think there is another MTV series that fits you better, it's called Jackass!!"
"Well, it looks like tonight the seven time tag team champions; Edge and Christian, positively reeked of.... well lets just say tonight they just plain reeked... "
"X-Pac, I am THRILLED that you were able to hook up with Tori - for the first time in your entire life - you finally got to kiss a GIRL! How'd it feel?"
"Kirk Angel, as Confucious once said, 'if you ain't got nothin' entertaining to say, then shut - the hell - up!' You say that since Y2J has had the intercontinental championship that America has fallen into a decline. Well I say that since you've been standing in that ring, babbling on that microphone, America has fallen asleep! When you look at yourself, you see a courageous Olympic hero, but when I look atchya, all I see is a ridiculous Special Olympics jackass."
"Kirk Angel, I admit you've got the intercontinental championship - but you've also got bad breath and a terrible case of BO! And I would much rather look like this than look like a 30-year-old, never-kissed-a-woman Olympic geek who still lives at home with his Mommy, so Mrs. Angel, put down your double whiskey sour, pick the corn chips from between your teeth, and get ready to see your baby boy JACKASS get a Y2J beating that he, and you will never... ever forget a-gain."
"Seriously, Eddie - I think the Taco Bell chihuahua has more Latino heat than you."
Eddie, Chyna, contrary to what you may or may not believe, I am absolutely ecstatic that you two are together. I mean, Y2J is joyful that you two have hooked up, but I only have one question - in your little relationship, which one of you two is the man? And just out of curiosity, which one of you two has the bigger package?"
"I just wanted to come by and congratulate you on acquiring ECW. I guess we now know what those letters stand for: Every Customer Welcome!"
"Now you're the Queen of Hardcore, but Movies don't Count!"
Vince: "OK!! Now go out there and kick DDP's butt, Junior!!"
Jericho: "OK, Ju--- Senior!"
"Thanks Stephanie, you're the breast... I mean best!"
"So it seems Stephanie, that the Rock and all these Jerichoholics were correct in calling you a bargain basement slut. But on top of that I think you are the filthiest, dirtiest, most disgusting, skankiest, brutal, bottle feeding, trash bag ho, that I have ever e-e-e-ever seen in my life! Damn I feel better now."
"Vance McMahon before you chastise me for my actions last week on Smackdown allow me to apologize to you. Allow me to apologize for being impulsive. Allow me to apologize for following my heart; allow me to apologize for coming down to the ring and punching you in your face. It was instinct, its what Im all about and I cant help that, I mean its similar to the way that your son Shane is referred to each and every week by all these Jerichoholics as a word that rhymes with wussy. Oh yeah thats it. Or is similar to the way that your daughter Stephanie is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag ho. Easy big fella. I mean she cant help it, its what she does. Or even you Big Mac, I mean youre the head of one of the biggest empires in the world. You created this entire phenomenon known as sports entertainment. You sir are a multi-billionaire. But you did it all to make up for the fact that you have a very small penis. Its okay, its not your fault. Its okay."
"Now that we're in the midst of the holiday season, Burl Ives tells us to have a holly jolly Christmas. Well, there ain't gonna be nothing jolly about Bob Holly's Christmas after he receives a yuletide beating from the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, 'cause tonight, I'm gonna deck THESE halls with the goofballs of Holly!"
"And tonight I have to wrestle Big Viscera - but I, I gotta be honest with all the Jerichoholics tonight, I'm a little intimidated - as anybody would be if you had to face the Love Child of Mr. T and Fat Albert. But I gotta warn you, Viscera the Hut! Ah pity the fool who messes with Y2J!"
"And as for you, Rockachichi Fatu, what you don't know is that *I* am a dancing machine, and I'll be happy to teach you a couple of my patented moves, like the Great Caeser's Ghost, or the Electric Banana, but for now, I'm gonna have to destroy you, AYATOLLAH STYLE!"
"My my my - what a motley looking Crue this is! This reminds me of the cantina scene from 'Star Wars!' I mean, you got a couple of Vanilla Ice wannabes (Too Cool), you got a freak of nature (Chyna) and her Mini-Me little buddy (The Kat)- you got a bleach-blonde buffoon(Sparky Plug), and you got a really fat guy in a diaper(Rikishi) - this is disgusting"
"Bossman, I'm sure that your mother once told you if you can't say anything nice about anybody, don't say anything at all. Well tonight Y2J is telling you, if you can't say anything entertaining, then shut the hell up! 'Cause while you're out here boring all the Jerichoholics, I'm standing in the back BEGGING to show off my new and improved InterChrisinental Championship belt...and since you're already in the ring with your goofy looking buddy Prince Allan, maybe I should just enter the ring and destroy you both...AYATOLLAH STYLE!"